Post-mortem Pitchman or What’s With All the Dying?
Ed McMahon, Farrah Fawcett, Billy Mays, Michael Jackson, and Steve McNair are in line to talk to St. Peter at the Pearly Gates…sounds like the start to a bad joke. But seriously, what a random incoming Heaven class, no? Imagine them sitting around waiting for orientation. McMahon probably has the best stories, working alongside Johnny Carson for 30 years. You know Johnny has his desk set up just waiting for ol’ Ed to join him for the best late-night talk show this side of eternity…and think of the endless amount of guests available up there: everyone from John Lennon to Ricardo Mantalban to George Carlin…well Carlin might not be in the area, but I’m sure Johnny’s people could strike a deal with Downstairs and get him for a limited engagement. McNair would probably ask if anyone wants to throw the ball around. Jackson, with mask still on to prevent infectious diseases despite the fact he’s already dead, replies “Not in the face…ow!”
Billy Mays here with another fantastic product…you know he’ll be plugging some orange shit to polish angelic harps and halos. Too soon? I know the reports say he died from a heart attack, but I’m pretty sure this D-bag had something to do with it…
They’re reporting Air McNair was probably killed by some chick he was having a “dating relationship” with, who then shot herself in the head. The only thing more cowardly than killing yourself is killing someone else right before you do it. Reminiscent of Phil Hartman’s death, also a murder/suicide. Terrible…
