'C' The Well

RIP JAWS

“And we gotta do it quick, that’ll bring back your tourists, put all your businesses on a payin’ basis.”

- Quint

I’m saddened to hear the Jaws ride is closing at Universal Studios in Orlando, it being my favorite movie.  I was lucky enough to experience it once, though I was maybe 12 or 13 years old and don’t have as solid a memory of it as I’d like. I wish I had more than a month’s notice, especially that month being December.  However, I understand the reasoning behind it.  They Harry Potter thing, the Marvel thing.  Jaws is outdated.  Hell it was probably already 15 to 20 years old when I placed it in the top tier of my favorite movie list - a position that brings with it many benefits: watching it from any point when it’s on television, even especially the last 15 minutes, anniversary edition DVDs with extensive amounts of useless trivia (the mechanical shark was named Bruce, after Steven Spielberg’s lawyer), and since you know all the lines, it makes for a great napping soundtrack.

But, I digress.  Universal is promising “an exciting, NEW experience” presumably themed around another pop culture zeitgeist a la the Potter universe. (Please don’t let it be Twilight).  My proposal - a Star Wars ‘land’.  Consider how timeless the movies are, appealing to multiple generations.  You could buy refreshments at a recreated Mos Eisley cantina, explore that crazy tree in Yoda’s swamp and your face could appear in Vader’s helmet, even have some ‘little people’ walking around dressed as Ewoks and Jawas.  The first thing you see through the turnstiles? A model of the Death Star the size of the Epcot ball with a ride inside that takes you through the history of the Empire.