You Can’t Do That
It is both amazing, and at the same time not surprising, that everywhere you turn, you see something “Beatles.” As a big fan, this second coming of Beatlemania is exciting and refreshing. Those people who were lucky enough to actually experience the music at the time of its creation, but perhaps haven’t listened to a track in many years, are able to become reacquainted with the music they grew up with. Or, for those folks who have never stopped listening, always trying to encourage other, younger listeners to experience the mind-blowing genius of the band, maybe a chance to throw around a few, “I told you so’s.” It’s captivating to me that a whole new generation is being exposed to this music. Teens and young adults are warming up to “old music” even at the risk of sharing a common interest with *gasp* their parents! Stores are stocked with remastered Beatles CDs, posters, puzzles, books, even board games. Those chalk and pencil sketches that you see in mall kiosks and street fairs now feature portraits of John, Paul, George & Ringo, on the same display as Scarface, The Godfather, and Tupac. Perhaps the biggest transformation of 60s nostalgia into the modern age - Beatles Rock Band! I myself played for about 7 hours straight last week. The Well has even been using Beatles references in its posts for several weeks.
I have one reservation though, concerning using Beatles songs in commercials. Let me clarify: covering Beatles songs in commercials. Trust me, I’m all about classic rock songs being utilized across different media. So much of my musical preference I’ve grown to love and appreciate is derived from something I heard years before in a movie or commercial. I can’t hear Cream’s Sunshine of Your Love without playing in my head the slow-motion shot of Robert Deniro in Goodfellas, taking a deep drag of his cigarette, smoke slowly snaking around his face as he contemplates whacking someone. The first time I heard Jimi Hendrix’s version of All Along the Watchtower was in a MLB playoff commercial. I immediately went out and bought the cassette tape (yes, cassette tape). But let’s get down to brass tacks - the new Blackberry commercial using some band covering All You Need is Love, sucks. I don’t know who the band is, and if you know please share. I say, if you’re going to use a Beatles song, use the real song. And it’s just a painfully corny match-up. Let’s see how lame we can get pairing Beatles songs to various products. The Well came up with several ideas, with a little help from my friends. (Sorry, had to)
Obvious choices include I’m So Tired for 5 Hour Energy, Mean Mr. Mustard for Gulden’s, and Ticket to Ride for Amtrak. Weak? How about Good Morning, Good Morning playing in a Dunkin’ Donuts commercial? Come to think of it, they should just play that song all morning in the actual Dunkin’ Donuts stores. Can’t you just picture Yellow Submarine in the background as a kid splashes in the tub, mommy using Johnson & Johnson’s No Tears Shampoo? Piggies for Pork, the other white meat? No good? Avis could advertise it’s daily rental rates during Day Tripper. This one’s a stretch, but true fans will get it - Norwegian Wood in a Bob’s Furniture ad. Man I hate that guy and his reasonably priced recliners. Getting a little more creative now. A chiropractor using We Can Work it Out.
“You know, like work out the kinks.” ~Tooth
Windex - a woman wiping her sliding glass door, streak-free, while viewers hear I’m Looking Through You. Let’s see a moving company use Carry That Weight. GPS systems should capitalize on more men receiving the devices as gifts, because let’s face it gentlemen, we would never buy it for ourselves, and play Nowhere Man in their commercials. Hey Michelin Man, how about busting out a few lines of Why Don’t We Do it in the Road? Had enough? Let’s make it challenging. I saved the best for last. Any number of beer makers could put together a commercial showing how not to be that guy who brings over shitty beer, with I Don’t Want to Spoil the Party playing in the background. Trojan always puts out great condom ads. How about one showing a girl who sneaks over to her boyfriend’s house for a little late night in-out, in-out (safely of course). She sets that ladder up against the side of his house and starts to climb. Just as she reaches the top, we hear She Came in Through the Bathroom Window. Lastly, my personal favorite. Had a great time with someone special last night, but woke up nervous after you’ve fuzzily pieced together the evening’s events? A home pregnancy test commercial using The Night Before. Hey, if you’re going to whore it out, might as well go the whole (number) nine yards.
The Well would love to hear some other suggestions. Anyone think of a way to use Everybody’s Got Something to Hide Except Me and My Monkey?
